CK Lynn

What is this about? The first several lines seemed to be about time, but then suddenly it switched to worries about the future.

The emotions are very strong, but it would be better as flash fiction or a short story.

Thanks for the suggestions!

Thanks for the suggestions!

Terrific. I loved the imagrey. A few of the verses seemed kind of stiff, though.

Thanks for the advice!

I Like it. You do seem to repeat yourself in different words over and over. Sometimes that works, but not here.

hmm...I think you could have added more emotion. I think it would be MUCH better as part of a short story.

The imagrey was excellent! However I couldn't tell where you were going with this. It seems to be part love poetry, part fiction, and part oh-what's-up-above-us. Try short stories. Read ...

It's good. The tone changed back and forth from casual to serious, try to make it constant. Also, a lot was left unexplain. And the guy was named Faith, primarily ...

The rhymes were cute, but seriously, there actually has to be something described, at least. I can't tell what you're trying to say.

The imagery was ver good. I think the mixing of sicene and color needs just a little work to flow better. And that "Spyygmomanometer got your tongue?" line really breaks ...

This is a really good description of the beginning of summer. The French translation is great.

I really liked it! Usually if you have a question in apoem it doesn't work, but yours did!

Good idea. I don't see how the part of blue and gold works, though.